I've been sensing him again and though I like it it hasn't been a pleasant feeling. If I knew it was because he was missing me and that it is all in good will and good purpose and good meaning for me, then I would be happy about it.

But... I'm not much of a psychic. And I don't know. All I know is why it had to get to where it got and why things are the way they are at the moment.

If he does not love me and he is not going to fight against all odds to be with me... Then there just isn't any point. He can think of me all he wants but it would all be for nothing.

I no longer want to ride in an endless pointless cycle.